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Wow, everyone has a blog page and now I do too! WOO-HOO! I'm so cool! BLOGS, JOURNALS, AND DIARIES.my xangaAACF blog Ben Anna Carise Victor Thomas Cman Amily My old blogpage DropDeadFred Stories Andrew O. Jocelyn Tiffany Branny Megan Andrew W. Vir COOL SITESOrisinalCMCentral CCM Magazine His2Own (h2o) DropDeadFred World 
SCHOOL SITESBerkeleyBearlink Psych 2 Math 54 Math 55 Political Science 118AC History 5 Legal Studies 103
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Saturday, January 25, 2003
so much to say ... i've been doing a lot of thinking lately ... don't wanna sound too preachy, though. i'm feeling pretty sick right now, though ... maybe i'll post some of my thoughts later. no witty comments tonight -bj 
Hunger and Thirst I don't know what it's like to be starving. God's blessed me so much that I've never been in intense hunger or thirst. I can't relate to people on the side of the road begging for food. I do, however, know what it's like to be full. I eat and eat until I feel like bursting. Once I've eaten so much that it hurt to move. I've experienced extreme thirst after going out running, but I've been immediately quenched after drinking a glass of water. I've been full, but not starving. Thirsty, but quenched. This should be different than our spiritual life. God wants us to be starving for Him, starving for more of Him. We are to have a God-shaped hole in our lives that only He can fill. Even when God fills that hole, we are still to have a desperate longing for more of him, for more spiritual stuff. We are to hunger and thirst after Christ and never be quenched. Every bite and every gulp of God, of spiritual food should only make us more hungy, more thirsty. I know oftentimes I am itching to get home to play Final Fantasy or Age of Mythology. Sometimes I'm itching to get home and get to my piano. I get to playing my games or practicing piano and I just want to keep on playing. I have yet to learn true spiritual hungering and thirsting. I have yet to go home just itching to read my Bible or to spend time with God. Our time with God should be joyous and is joyous, and yet we don't have the same hungering and thirsting after God as we do for food or as we do for games. Are we desperate for God? Are we desperate for more of Him? Do we settle for stuff of earth to fulfill or hungering and thirsting? Are we content with being filled and being satisfied, or do we want to continually thirst after God and never get enough of Him? And I am desperate for You And I am lost without You -bj
Friday, January 24, 2003
h2o was fun today ... i like my small group ... (bible-o cards! it's time to du-du-du-duel!) we had a great discussion on Christian community ... i should've gone bowling with them ... i feel kinda sick though. not up to four hours of bowling ... :-/ fun, fun for everyone -bj
been doing a lot of thinking lately ... first about our thoughts ... i think too often i forget that my negative thoughts are sins. i think bad thoughts about a professor i don't like, or i think bad thoughts when someone does something to me i don't like. it's a constant struggle dealing with my thought life. i've also been thinking about evangelism. you know, God tells all of us to preach the gospel to every nation. it's a command, not a request. i, to be very honest, have not done my part. i've been at school for a whole semester already. God's placed people in my sphere of influence. have i brought them any closer to becoming save? have i pushed them further away? it's not our job to neccessarily get people saved, but it is our job to bring them closer - even if it's just planting the seeds or raising the flag telling them we're a Christian. we can make disciples through our own example. You're calling me to lay aside the worries of my day To settle down my busy mind and find a hiding place Worthy, You are worthy Of a childlike faith And of my honest praise And of my unashamed love Of a holy life And of my sacrifice And of my unashamed love Worthy, You are worthy i drone on and on -bj
so i went to the super dc today ... it was pretty super ... well, i can't really judge ... i only had a small bowl of rice and some stir fry that i didn't finish ... the fire alarm went off and i didn't really get to eat or try much ... i'll have to go again sometime to get a better idea ... while it's good, i still prefer the convenience of a one minute walk to the dc ... the food's not great, but hey, it's close by. :-) i REALLY NEED TO BUY A MIDI CABLE ... i wanna mix some songs on my computer ... i guess i'd need music editing software, too ... hmmmm ... too bad i've spent over $400 on books already and i still have to buy a book and two readers (one reader costs $80!) anyhoo ... yeah. i still haven't bought my mp3 player, either ... (*sigh*) ... why am i so broke? so the first week of the second semester is over ... my classes are SO much better than last semester ... hopefully it'll go well. one thing i'm really sad about, though, is that i don't really get to hang out with my roommies anymore. our schedules just conflict ... :-( i mean, that's what my first semester so awesome - just hanging out with my roommies. don't get to do much of that now ... i mean, i don't get to eat lunch with them because i don't really have a lunch break, and i don't always get to eat dinner with them because they have evening classes ... well, that's life, eh? i kinda just miss being able to talk to them and hang out ... in the evenings, too, we're all pretty busy ... stephen's usually playing games and he doesn't quite like being bothered ... michael's usually getting some reading done ... i guess i can't expect us to do everything together, and i don't ... still ... sad. cry me a river -bj
Ever notice how we lefties are always discriminated against? i mean, come on. think about it. toilet paper is on the right hand side of stalls, not the left. when lefties hold the pencil, the logo is upside down, but when righties hold a bencil, it's right side up. What about steering wheels? The only reason why steering wheels are on the left hand side of cars is so thos lazy righties can reach down and play with the radio with their right hands! and what about the names? why are we lefties called lefties? perhaps because we are LEFT out? righties are right while lefties are wrong? what's up with that? we do not have to take this lying down. on behalf of lefties all over the world, i declare war with the rest of you! i demand equal rights for all people, no matter of the creed, race, gender, or hand of preference. united we stand -bj
Thursday, January 23, 2003
started a new story. it's about mark, a chinese student in an elite private school. mark has to deal with the burdens of high expectations, love lost, and broken friendships. journey with mark as he learns a little about himself and others, and finds faith along the way. check it out! (haha. I just read through my first chapter again, and it's pretty bad.) ANYHOO ... yeah. don't tell me how poor my story is. i already know. but hey, i was bored. DROP DEAD FRED STORIES! when i fall in love -bj
Mike Wong, head physics GSI: "C'mon! I'll show you guys how to use the bathroom!!!!" all around the world -bj
i was thinking yesterday in my qt about the phrase "carry your cross" ... i remembered the verse "if any man does not hate his mother and his father and his wife and his children and his brothers and sisters, and even his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. and if any man does not take up his cross and come after me, he cannot be my disciple." i've always heard this phrase, but i don't think it's ever been adequately explained to me. here's my (uneducated) take on this. Jesus had to carry his cross, but seeing that Jesus spoke this before His crucifixtion, his disciples didn't know this. Without God's grace, what we humans deserve is death. We don't deserve anything because we are all sinners. We deserve to be crucified. We should be the ones that have to carry our own cross to Calvary. But Jesus carried our crosses for us. Thus it doesn't quite make sense that Jesus meant we should all be crucified, even though we should be willing to do so if need be. Given that, maybe Jesus uses the cross symbolically. The cross could represent all of our worries and cares and persecution that could come about as a result of us deciding to follow Jesus. In order to follow Jesus, to be His disciple, we have to recognize the fact that troubles and trials will come as a result of our decision to be His disciples. i dunno ... my two cents on the topic ... :-/ they're dancing in chicago -bj
Wednesday, January 22, 2003
updated my website ... still under construction, but no more abstrace vir & amily pics ... =O( the flames, the sword! -bj
"So forget the worries of this life and let His love shine through, and it'll be alright. Everything will be alright." That's a line from a song I heard long time ago. I think this is something I have to remember this semester. I think that last semester I got too caught up in school and the homework that I forgot to be a good testimony. When people were going out, I was doing homework. I neglected getting to know them and perhaps raising the flag / sharing my faith ... Something I'll try to do this semester, I guess ... we've been blessed beyond we could ever dream in abundance or in need -bj
Today I had four lectures in a row. I woke up at 6:30 to go running, and I thought I'd have enough energy / adrenaline to get through the day. Ummm ... Yeah. Here's a recap of my classes: 8:00 - 9:00 Physics 7B: Thermal Physics, Electricity & Magnetism I was full of energy at the start of my class after my run. It felt like it would be a good class. My professor is this Chinese guy who has a mild accent and who says "okay" after every other word. Quite distracting, actually. The class seems like it will be a lot of work, but more tolerable than last year. He lectured a little bit and I fell asleep for about five minutes. 9:00 - 10:00 Math 53M: Multivariable Calculus with computers My class was at the VLSB - pretty far from my dorm room. It is a very nice room, though. Not too big, but nice chairs and a cozy feel. My professor is some Russian or German guy with a very hard to pronounce last name. He has a moderately heavy accent, but I was still able to understand him. He kept telling us to be scared because this would be the hardest math class ever. But he also says that we shouldn't be scared 'cuz he's (in his opinion) a very good teacher. So far I'd have to agree with him. He explains things pretty well. This class will use computers as visual aids, but we won't use computers to do homework and stuff, even though we have our discussions in the computer lab. This class seems like it will be a challenge, but this professor seems 10x better than my last professor, professor neu ... yuck. I didn't like that guy. 10:00 - 11:00 Ethnic Studies 21AC: A survey of race in American culture I step into one of the largest lecture halls on Berkeley, and our Professor is blasting Eminem and Nappy Roots. I brace myself for what lies ahead. My professor is a Caucasian woman with a British or Australian accent. She seems like a very good professor. This class will either be the most fun class or the most awkard of my classes. At the beginning of the class, she puts on the overhead that America is white at its core and that that's how it should be. She's telling us to challenge everything we know about race. She says Wednesdays she'll usually have a guest speaker that she may or may not debate with. Fridays we'll have a video. Mondays are when she gives her lectures. It's a very light atmosphere ... seems kinda like a Micky Mouse course, but I'm not taking anything for granted. She let us out half-an-hour early but said we'll be at full steam by Monday. 11:00 - 12:00 Computer Science 61B: Data Structures and Advanced Programming (in Java) Since I got out of my Ethnic Studies class early, I was able to get to Pinmentel early, too. My teacher is a Caucasian lady. I was quite surprised, actually, just because most people in the engineering departments at Berkeley are men. Anyway, I'm quite excited about this class. It's in Java, a language very similar to C++, and I am much more comfortable in C++ than in scheme. My professor seems very knowledgeable and seems like a very good lecturer. She even plans to give out lecture notes before each lecture. The class is also webcast, but I think I'll be going to the actual lecture. I fell asleep for about five minutes when she was taking about some administrivia stuff because I'm not used to going to four straight classes. Yup. That was my day. It'll be like this every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Hope I'm up to it. I don't know if running this morning helped or not. I still felt tired in all of my classes. We'll see how long I stick with running. and all that jazz -bj
Tuesday, January 21, 2003
so ... school today was ... pretty good ... only one class ... two classes were cancelled ... but yeah ... not bad ... we'll see how tomorrow goes. i hope i can wake up to run tomorrow ... :-/ take all your big plans and break 'em -bj
Monday, January 20, 2003
sunrise, sunset sunrise, sunset quickly go the years and so another semester begins and bryan is left to fend for himself in this cold, cruel world ... :-) ... school - can't wait i'm gonna soak up the sun -bj
today i started running ... didn't run too far or too fast, but at least i ran. 
and the world keeps spinnin' round -bj
i'm home ... well ... school home. goals for this next semester: 1) skip as few classes as possible 2) actually read my textbooks 3) go to office hours 4) attend aacf meetings 5) continue w/ Bible studies 6) share my testimony with people in my suite 7) run every morning 8) work out at the rsf once a week 9) learn to serve (well) in tennis 10) dye my hair some absurd color a house is not a home -bj
Sunday, January 19, 2003
yay ... i found out one accord is planning to record me & vir's song! yippee! anyway ... i've been thinking a lot lately about evangelism ... lately at h2o, my college fellowship, we've been going through a series on how to share our faith. we're going to move our small groups on campus so we'll better be able to evangelize ... i've learned that i've had many misconceptions about evangelism ... while it's our job to "spread the gospel to every nation", we don't neccessarily have to get everyone saved ... our job is to just move people one step closer to being saved ... -bj
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